Thoughts On Time and Places….

So i turn 28 on Sunday…ekk weird huh? Two years until 30 (whoa!). I’ve been in a sort of weird place as of late with the getting older and the various work stress, life stress and my overall issues. I have not been handling these stresses the best. I’ve been trying by hardest to let God take my burdens and surrender my worries to Him…but that is so easier than said and as much as i desire it it seems so very away sometimes.

I had hoped to “have it all together” at this point (HA!!). Or even have it semi-all together. But have i come to realize that that is just not me – not my life plan. I am that “hot mess” gal that you see who is just trying her best to love others and love Jesus and keep her clients and companies happy all the while doing her best to be a great wife and friend, daughter and sister and have that rockin’ cat eye on point (yall know i love my eyeliner!). I fall short (pun intended…ya know, because i am short..get it?) most of the time.

But here i am, confused, tired, excited and so many other things And really in need of some time away. Time to un-plug, time to read, write, listen, eat, swim,explore, to find myself again. .And cry. Because sometimes you just need some time to cry for what has been and what will be.

With all that being said, i have begun to write a list of things i feel are important to remember and do as well i things a few things i have learned in these 28 years. Cheers!

1. Dream

This 28th year of my life is really want to restart dreaming. And i don’t just mean dream – I mean dreaming in the power of Jesus. Praying and dreaming with hope to bring glory to His name and love, help and connect others to His love and healing. I have always had this feeling, and it is growing stronger by the day,  that there is something God wants me to do with this messy, batty heart and story of mine….i don’t what that is but i feel like He is putting new thoughts, dreams, hopes and ideas in my heart and  i am excited to find the out and what He wants me to do with them. Life gets in the way of dreaming sometimes…the list of things clients need, laundry that has to be done, dinner that has to be cooked and cleaned and so on and so on but dreaming is important and 28 will be my dreaming year. So Cheers!

2. Explore

While i LOVE exploring this big ol’ world and want to do more of it in this list item i am talking about exploring who you are, who i am. It does go with #1 but comes with a whole new set of emotional baggage but is worth it i believe. Again i repeat life gets in the way too often and with responsibilities (What’s that?….*shout out to all the MXPX fans who actually get that reference…if you don’t we can’t be friends…lol i’m just kidding, look it up and then we can be friends)

3. Create

While my job requires me to be creative on a day-to-day basis i have found that i NEED a creative outlet outside of my work – Writing is one of those outlets, baking is too, along with painting which i have taken up with my mom in-law and sis in-law in recent years. This year i really want to take more time to create in many different forms – Painting, writing, baking, crafting and finally learning and finishing those crochet and cross stitch projects i started 3 years ago but got too busy to complete. And anything else God puts on my heart. This year, i pray, will be a year of creation

4. Laugh

I am a big fan of laughter…if you know me at all you know i laugh a lot…and usually at the most random and inappropriate times (thankfully my husband is the same so we get each other lol). I feel laughter can get you through the most messed up times…even if the only thing to laugh at is how messed up the situation is it does help. So want to always remember to laugh….laugh is the good times, in the awkward times and in the “i have no idea how i am going to do this/get through this/what is going to happen times. Oh, and you don’t already have some find some crazy friends who will laugh with you at all of these things and even crazier things because that really helps your heart too (it really helps mine <3)

5. Remember it WILL all be okay

This is one i am having to remind myself as of late. And as i write this it is hard for me….but i know IT IS TRUE. Things ache and life can get very, very stressful and frustrating but it really will be okay. I have gone through some dark times in my life, times of confusion, depression and many other various situations where it seems so hopeless…but guess what? HOPE FOUND ME. As it always does and always will – but you have to let it in. Don’t give yourself away to despair –  hope and joy are ready to hold you. So let it hold you. Let God hold you

Also, i want to remember where i have been, what i have prayed for, and how God has moved and answered me. This is very important in life. Keeping a prayer journal helps so you can record your prayers and ways God has answered…i’ve not been very good at keeping up with that but i would like to do so this year.

6.Breathe

This year i want to take more time to breathe. To step back from everyday life/stress/work and take care of myself. My heart, mind, body and soul. Whether that comes in the form of creating or praying or just taking longer walks in the woods my heart, every heart, needs that time to reconnect with one’s self and with God. I love nature, i love walking and exploring the woods on our land finding new plants and creeks and breathing in the fresh air while the sun kisses my skin. I will do more of that this year. I will take more time to lay on the grass and stare at the clouds and stairs and let my heart be made new by its beauty.

7. Surrender

Ah surrender, you funny friend…always so easy to invite in, so hard to let stay. But in the end so beautiful to commune with. Surrender is easier said than done, and believe me on most days it is a power struggle but i know, i KNOW, from experience it is the ONLY way. I look back on my life to when i have FULLY surrendered to God, like EVERYTHING…relationships, mind, body, circumstances and i see His fingerprints so clearly it’s almost too crazy…but it’s not

8. Trust

I don’t do well with trust…even though i desire it it is so hard for me. Even though time and time and time again God had proven He WILL provided exceedingly more than i could ask in times of trouble i turn to doubt. This is silly. As i know, I HAVE SEEN God work in my life and the lives other others. I wants so desperately to be like Jesus on the cross and say “Into Your hands i commit my spirit”

The song “It Is Well” by Bethel Music describes my prayer for this year of my life “So let go my soul and trust in Him The waves and wind still know His name”

Trusting in God’s time, plan, path and will can be so hard, but dear heart listen when i say this (to me as much as you reading) it IS AND WILL BE WORTH IT.

So, those are my 8 things i want to do in my 28th year on this big ‘ol beautiful, crazy world. I would love to hear what things you are hoping to make time for this year if you feel so inclined to share 🙂

In closing, i want to give a big shout out and thanks to those wonderful people who put up with me for my whole life and every day – I know i can be a lot to deal with sometimes lol but ya’ll keep this heart of mine happy and full. I am SO crazy thankful for the people in my life; my family on both sides, my husband and my sweet friends, thank you all for loving me and always being there to listen, pray and share life with me.

Cheers 28, my eyes and heart are wide open waiting to see what you have in store ❤

-CW

Loving It Away

This week has me thinking about pain. Pain and love and healing.

1 Peter 4:8 says “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

I love that scripture because there is great hope in it. But i always thought of it between two individuals. Like the one who hurts and the one who did the hurting.

But then i started thinking, if love can cover sins, could my love cover the sins of others? The sins inflicted upon loved ones by third parties?

Can i love so strong and true that through my love God can heal the scars of my dear ones? I think so. In fact, i think that is what we are called to do. We are called to be like Jesus, and Jesus loves our pain away and leads us into healing. That is what i believe we should emmulate.

I know so many who have been deeply hurt. Hurt by people they were supposed to be able to trust. And pain, pain takes it’s time to heal…wounds take time to recover and mend. Hearts need safety. They need to know that it is okay to just heal in the time that they need to. I need those things. I need healing as well. I think we all do. Hurt is something no one is exempt from in this world.

But if we could love, truly love. And listen. And hug. And hold a hand. Maybe these things can cover the sins. Maybe they can help mend the wounds and bring healing.

Maybe all we need is to love in the darkness. In the weakness. In the healing. Until we, through the power of our Lord, love it all away.

Because He will most assuredly love it all away.

 

“But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.” – Isaiah 53:5

 

~Cecily

 

Seasons and Lessons

So, as i sit here trying to catch my blog up on all my thoughts my husband is on a business call teaching a friend and i’m trying to decide if i should blog, finish up work or workout…blogging won.

Lately i feel like I’ve been on a life lesson journey (then again, when are we not?) . Some haven’t been easy but they all have proven to me how much i don’t know and how much i want to learn.

Lesson 1. Open your heart. Be honest.

This one has always been hard for me. Being vulnerable with people is not easy in any respect let alone for a person as awkward as i am. But I’ve realized how are people supposed to know me and how i feel if i never tell them? I think sometimes we expect that others should just “know” for one reason or another. But alas, people cannot read minds (unless you can. And in that case we should be friends). I’ve gone around for so long expecting others to do what i felt i couldn’t/shouldn’t/didn’t want to. It didn’t work. I had built up feelings (and reoccurring dreams).

So, one night i just bit the bullet and said what was on my heart. And you know, i got mixed responses but that’s okay. I prayed for God’s favor in the situation. I did what was on my spirit. And i say “spirit” because i believe you should do everything with the help of the Holy Spirit and His guidance as opposed to the popular belief of “going with your heart”, which according to Jeremiah 17:9 “is deceitful above all things”. I’m liking the new honest, open hearted me, no matter the response because i know i am being true.

Lesson 2 – Life is about progression,seasons and movement. And it can be beautiful.

I think this had been the hardest for me. Since moving from my home state of Texas to my new home in GA i’ve really had to accept that a lot of life is about change. But as of late i’m starting to learn not just “acceptance” but beauty in the progression of my ever changing life seasons.

Call me a hippie but i firmly believe that we move with the seasons…Summer is playful, Fall is introspective, Winter is mournful and full of letting go. And Spring, Spring is for new, beautiful birth.

Maybe it’s just me, but  my life tends to follow the seasons.

The difference is, we may not always get the same season back. And that is okay. I’m learning to be thankful for the seasons i had. And learning that maybe that was all they were supposed to be, just seasons. And that’s not to be little them, because seasons are part of us, but some we just have to let go and say “blessed was this, oh Lord! Thank you.” and burn it down and walk away. Walk away thankful with a full, learning heart into the new chapter.

Lesson 3 – Marriage is the hardest, most Christ-like thing you will do. But it is all beautiful worth it.

I’ve been married a little over 2 years (2 years and 4 months to be exact lol) and i have to say i never thought i could grow so much in so short of time! Marriage stretches you. It pulls you away from the selfish. It sharpens you.

My husband is an incredible man and on a daily basis i can’t believe that i get the blessing of being his wife! But no marriage is perfect. And i don’t think it was ever meant to be. I think marriage is meant to grow us into the loving and graceful people God created us to be. And that isn’t going to be a smooth ride (at least for me…i’m a stubborn one!).

I guess i’ve been learning that no matter the hardship of putting yourself last you will find more beauty in it than any selfish action could ever provide. I look at my role as a wife as my calling. And i take my calling very seriously. My duty to my God is to first honor Him and second to honor my husband. I’ve realized more and more how hard this is when your wants sometimes differ with your husbands. But i am called to submit to him…not controlling “do what i say” submit. It’s a holy and beautiful submission to my husband knowing that God put him as the head of our home.

I think submission in the biblical sense is a way of teaching us to lay down our lives for others. My marriage encourages me everyday to become more and more the woman that God created me to be. It’s grown my heart and soul in more ways than i can say and i can’t wait to see how much more i learn in the future.

 

This is just some of what has been on my heart as of late. I feel God wanting to grow me in this season and i hope i can lay down my will enough to keep finding out what all the seasons and the lessons they bring mean for my future.

 

Cheers, Cecily