On Dating Sites…- My journey from JC Match to Christian Mingle success.

This week is the 4 year anniversary of when Chason and I met face to face for the first time on my 22nd birthday after months of letters, texts and 7 hour phone calls. So in honor of that I thought it would be a good time to write about my experience with dating sites over the years and how I met my husband.

It all started at show in Dallas.

Rock and Worship road show in ’09 was the place I received my first flyer for a Christian dating site that would later lead me to join said site, join every other one out there and eventually meet the man I now call my husband. This is a little about that journey and all the crazy that is the online dating experience.

When my sister, cousin and I all got the flyer while in line for a show on that spring TX day we thought it would be just amusing enough to join. And if you know us you know that we will do a lot just for our own amusement. My cousin joined first and my sister and I followed. It was weird but hey, I was single and living in a small town…what other options did I have?

I talked to a dude and he drove to my house. He arrived at midnight and was greeted only by me and my sister…my father was asleep in the other room and mom was out-of-state. I mention this because I would advise others to not do this. Thankfully this dude was just a just a normal 23-year-old dud and not an ax murder so I was safe, but as a rule of thumb always meet either in a public place or have more than just your sister right with you.

That experience was…interesting…to say the least and I vowed to never try online dating again. Why? Well because I found that with the town I lived in any relationship I was going to get from a dating site would be long distance and that failed miserably because well, 20 something guys just don’t have what it takes for that.

Flash forward to some months later I was back in the dating site world. And by back I mean I was on every one of them. eHarmony? Yep. Match.com? Sadly, yes. Christian Mingle? You bet! All the ones you see commercials for my picture and quirky bio was there.

I found eHarmony to be nice. I never paid though because I was poor but the free version was enough for a bit. Found a couple nice dudes but none i clicked with. Mostly i felt they matched me with the most boring men out there. Christian, but boring and not at all my type.

Match.com…oh my, the worst! All my matches were town/close to town guys, which wouldn’t have been so bad if they didn’t have their pants down to their knees and listened to ghetto music (yes i judged the guys by the music they listed…which is how I judge all people).

JC Match was the very first one I ever joined so I feel I should mention them. I don’t think they are even running anymore so we will just leave it at that.

Now we are to Christian Mingle…oh Christian Mingle, the surprise of my life. I was on there for a few months and not much luck until one day in late February 2011. I got a “smile” from a Chason Arthur (Christian Mingle has this thing were you can send smilies to the person you’re interested in before writing them). I clicked his profile and saw a dashing handsome face with the most charming smile I had ever seen (and really nice arms I might add ;). He was from Georgia and looked like the perfect southern man. I waned to kitty pounce hug him. So I sent him a “smile” back.

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(our profile pictures that we each had up)

Then followed a week or so of fun questions sent back and forth between us. The questions were fun and lighthearted like “Where would you take your dream vacation?” and stuff like that. Just like eHarmony I wasn’t a paying member so I couldn’t write or see messages I could only “smile” and send questions. Thankfully for me Chason is a clever one and got my little profile picture hint that led him to my Facebook…ladies and gents, this really works! Dating sites won’t allow you to put any social media links in your profile but you can get around it by splitting up the link in your picture captions 😉

On March 11th 2011 we sent our very first letter to each other via Facebook. That letter was followed by many, many others along with many texts and long phone calls. He ended up moving down to Austin to intern at The Austin Stone so we then decided to meet in person on my 22nd birthday.

When the day arrived that Chason was to come to my home the air conditioning broke in my house which led to me doing my makeup while sweating lol. Go figure. But I eventually did get my self together and I texted Chason to head on over from the b&b he was staying at in my town (actually I said “get over here before  I jump out of my skin from nervousness” lol). I will forever remember watching him through my window walking nervously to my door, hands in the pockets of his ripped jeans. After a few minutes of waiting he texted me that my door bell was broken lol. I opened it up and saw the sweet face of the man I had fallen in love with through letters and phone calls.

We chatted awkwardly for few and then headed to a little restaurant for lunch followed by a visit to the bookstore and then a walk at the bay where we held hands for the first time. And as he held me in his arms there by the water I knew I was home.

That was such a perfect, lovely, special day. And as hugged him goodnight at 1am after watching movies on my parents couch I couldn’t believe I found my husband to be on the Internet 🙂 Yeah it’s safe to say that Christian Mingle was a hit and pretty much made my life awesome.

So to any single people out there that are thinking of trying out the online dating world or maybe have tried it but haven’t had much luck, to you I say just keep casting your net. Maybe you won’t find your special one on the web…but maybe, just maybe you will. And that possibility is too exciting to pass by. Be patient and be cautious, use good judgment. But keep your heart and mind open, you never know just when God will surprise you.

Cheers,

CecilyW

This is my 50 Shades of Gray Post

I know, before you sigh and click off this blog thinking “Oh, another prudish, judgmental Christian ranting about what they think is wrong” please give me a few minutes of your time will you? Thank you, you are very polite 🙂

First off, i’m not a prude. Though i have been called that before (and it made my day) i really am not. So with that being said, let’s talk about sex (sorry mom).

I’ve been married for 3 years and almost 3 months, so don’t think sex is bad in anyway.Just putting that out there for the ones that think Christians hate sex.

Sex was created by God to be a loving and enjoyable act between two souls who share their lives together in the union of marriage. And of course to create life.

I have no objection to mixing it up in the safety of your bedroom and your spouse.Have fun. Enjoy each other. Get to fully know one another.

See that is the amazing thing about sex – We get to know someone fully in ways no one else knows. That is true intimacy.

50 Shades doesn’t promote intimacy, it promotes and focuses on force, domination and down right abuse. I’m sorry if someone is offended by this. But it really is true. If your partner is hitting you in the bedroom so hard that you start to cry. That there is ABUSE. It is not LOVE.

There is something wrong when your partner refers to you as their “submissive” and instructs you on when to do things like shave and so on. This is dominance and abuse. This is not true love.

True love doesn’t force. True love respects you. True love is safe. True love doesn’t leave marks on you. True love is not domineering, acting like you are property.

The last thing i want to address is the porn issue.

Women tend to get angry and disgusted when men look at porn. And yet, women are now doing it themselves (Magic Mike anyone?).  I really don’t have to explain how this is porn because if you don’t already know then we have bigger issues.

Why is porn bad? It’s harmless right? It can even make my marriage better?

No, i’m sorry it isn’t harmless. I could tell you stores of how it is not harmless. I’ve seen the struggle in people I’ve known. I’ve seen the pain when it takes over and becomes an addiction.

Porn ruins and skews our view of what sex should be and removes intimacy from the table. It gives us unattainable expectations and when those expectations can’t be reached it causes disconnect between partners. Porn can and has ruined lives and marriages.

The bible says in Philippians 4:8 “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

I am not judging anyone for reading these books or watching these moves. Because if i judge then i will be judged. I am not a perfect Christian by any means. I screw up daily and need God’s grace to pick me up and dust me off. I have made many mistakes and bad judgment calls in the 25 years I’ve been on this earth. So please, don’t take this blog as judgment or condemnation. That is not at all my want or intention. This is just something i feel in my heart that needs to be addressed.

Love and many blessings,

Cecily

Loving It Away

This week has me thinking about pain. Pain and love and healing.

1 Peter 4:8 says “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

I love that scripture because there is great hope in it. But i always thought of it between two individuals. Like the one who hurts and the one who did the hurting.

But then i started thinking, if love can cover sins, could my love cover the sins of others? The sins inflicted upon loved ones by third parties?

Can i love so strong and true that through my love God can heal the scars of my dear ones? I think so. In fact, i think that is what we are called to do. We are called to be like Jesus, and Jesus loves our pain away and leads us into healing. That is what i believe we should emmulate.

I know so many who have been deeply hurt. Hurt by people they were supposed to be able to trust. And pain, pain takes it’s time to heal…wounds take time to recover and mend. Hearts need safety. They need to know that it is okay to just heal in the time that they need to. I need those things. I need healing as well. I think we all do. Hurt is something no one is exempt from in this world.

But if we could love, truly love. And listen. And hug. And hold a hand. Maybe these things can cover the sins. Maybe they can help mend the wounds and bring healing.

Maybe all we need is to love in the darkness. In the weakness. In the healing. Until we, through the power of our Lord, love it all away.

Because He will most assuredly love it all away.

 

“But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.” – Isaiah 53:5

 

~Cecily

 

Marriage Thanksgiving – A Letter of Thanks/Happy 2nd Anniversary

To my husband Chason, everyday i grow more and more in love with you and thankful for the man you are. Here is just a small list of why.

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Thank you for being my smile and laughter when i want to cry

Thank you for being my hug when i need to feel safe

Thank you for cooking yummy meals of chili and salmon and mashed potatoes

Thank you for never leaving me when the darkest parts of me out shine the good

Thank you for being my secret keeper and confidant

Thank you for tickles even when i say i don’t want it

Thank you for long walks

Thank you for cleaning the house when i was gone

Thank you for calling me sweet names…it makes me feel so loved

Thank you for working so hard to give me my dream Texas wedding

Thank you for trips to restaurants and shops when you would rather stay in

Thank you for  telling me i’m beautiful when i have no makeup on

Thank you for working so hard for us like you do

Thank you for being so tender with me

Thank you of making my dream of traveling to Spain a beautiful reality!

Thank you for loving Christ with all your heart, it makes me want to love Him and you more

And last but not least, thank you for choosing me to be your wife and thank you for these sweet, most beautiful 2 years of my life!

I could go on and on for years but it would never be enough to explain my love and thankfulness for you! God blessed me tremendously when He brought you in my life! Happy 2nd anniversary my sweet love, my favorite day was the day i vowed before God to spend my life by your side! Here’s to the many many more years of love and adventure we have together! I love you with all i am!

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~Cecily

Housewife Dreams

Some people in their early twenties desire to purse a career,go dancing on the town with their friends etc…i on the other hand just wanted to be married. Married and have my own little baking biz on the side but marriage was the first thing always on my mind.

I can’t really tell you why. From the age of 16 through 19 i wanted nothing to do with marriage. It just seemed like death to put it bluntly. I was very angry back then at a lot of things and kept it all inside. That is until the moment in my life came where i let God take it all away, all the pain anger and fear. I let Him open my heart and i let love in.

Ever since then, He has changed my heart toward love and marriage and it was the thing i wanted most. I used to have the fear that i wouldn’t get married until my forties and i’d have to wear a pant suite like Hilary Clinton’s.  Now being that i married at 22 i find that fear funny, but back then…let’s just say it was very real :0

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(yikes!!!)

I’ve been thinking about why i want to be a wife and why i want to be a good and virtuous one.

Proverbs 31:10-12 says

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

When i read that my heart just leaps – I want my price to be far above rubies! I want my husband to safely trust me and i want to do him good all his life! I want to a  virtuous and Godly wife to my husband, not only because i love him, but because God calls me to as well.

Thankfully, i have many good example of Godly women to look up to, my mom being the first, as well as family and friends,

I guess i have realized that i don’t see marriage being entered into just because you love someone, i see it as a blessing of responsibility, trust, love. I see it as a calling. My calling as a wife is to love and honor my husband and bring him good. My calling, as a Christian wife, is to be an example for God’s love and grace to my husband. I see this as both beautiful and full of weight. I don’t take being a wife lightly. Yes, love is so fun and wonderful and full of happy sweet moments, but the act of entering a marriage union with someone is so much more and far greater than that.

Chason and i have always had a very deep relationship…probably because we connected with each others hurt and pains of life. Because of this i feel very compelled to protect his heart and emotions…not saying i always do a good job (pms makes me a witch), but his heart is very special to me and i tend to feel like a momma bear when someone/something hurts him.  And i know he is the same with me (i’ve seen it 🙂 So, yes marriage is fun, but it is also a huge responsibility, And every day i am honored and blessed and in awe that it has been given to me.

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(shhhoooot, dat be right!!)

Marriage changes everything…at least it did for me. I used to be a city girl, i wanted to live in the heart of the downtown noise and chaos. Now, i just want a quiet country home in the south where we can raise our kids with lots of land and animals and family. Funny, huh? Also, once we got married i became a lot more jealous of his past ex’s…it really never was an issue to me when we were dating, but i swear the day i said “i do” i became a fierce bear cat. I literally growl when they are mentioned lol…i’m a bit of batty case i admit (but so is he and that’s why we love each other). Oh, i tell you, you will hate and want every person your spouse had ever even made eyes with to be eaten by a pack of zombie wolves.

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(Rawwwwwrrrrr, i eat trollops for dinner!!! Nomm nom nommm)

Marriage changes you!

Marriage has brought out the very good and the very ugly in me. And i am better for it. This new gal has a more tender and soft heart…one that aches to just give others as much love and grace as i have received from my Lord and my love. This heart wants a huge house of kids and pets and big family holidays. I could care less about city life and nights on the town. That’s all good and fine and i like it as long as i am with my hubby, but my priorities have shifted. These days i want to focus on learning how to be the wife and mother God wants me to be for my husband and our future little ones. I want to grow and become a more God centered women, I know i have a long way to go and some days a fail so horribly that i feel like i may never be there, but that is what is so awesome about the love of God and your husband…there is forgiveness and grace, sweet grace and love to fall back on.

So, i guess this is all to say i love being a married women, and not only that, but a woman married to my husband 🙂 It is a huge change and adjustment, and i’m not saying that i have given up things i want…i still want to bake and have some city night life times. I am still me with all my crazy, batty oddness but now i just have someone to love me at the most batty of times and live our oddness out side by side serving our Lord as we grow old. Amazing isn’t? Yes, it totally awesomely is 🙂

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~ Cecily

Our Wedding Day 11-20-11

Today is a very special day…it is the anniversary of the day i married my love and vowed to spend my life alongside him, so because of the occasion i thought i’d take a moment to reminisce about the happiest day of  our lives. We eloped so most people don’t really know many details of our day, and because it was such a happy day for my husband and i we think it’s important to share the details. So here we go 🙂

It was a weekend in mid November and Chason and i were both fighting really bad colds and coughs.  At this point we had been engaged about a month and I was visiting him in Georgia  for a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving and then he was to come back to TX with me and spend the holidays with me and my family. On Friday the 18th we were talking and one thing lead to another and “let’s get married this weekend!” came up. Both agreeing,  we went out and got our marriage licence and started looking for a minister to marry us on short notice. We thew around ideas and even thought of getting Chason’s friend ordained, but then Chason thought of a minister friend he had met one day while shopping for a razor in a store. He pastor’s a little Methodist church not far from here, so we called him up and he said yes right away, no questions asked 🙂 So we wrote our vows that night while on lots of cold meds lol.

Sunday morning we woke up and i put on my little black dress and my Grandma’s pearls and Chason wore jeans and his “Bubble Gum” t-shirt which is the one he wore the day we met…and is his nickname for me, and we drove out to the church on the chilly morning with “Going to the Chapel” playing the whole way 🙂 (now every time i hear that song i think of our wedding day lol 🙂

After service, Gary (the pastor) took us to a room to talk a bit and plan the way it was going to go, and then we walked into the empty sanctuary to get hitched. I remember being so nervous i was shaking, and popping a mint before hand to counter the Halls cough drop aroma lol.

For the ceremony Chason surprised me by having the pastor read the “marriage poem” from The Princess Bride…so fun! The pastor then read 1 Cor 13 and then, finally, shaking and trying not to cough, we each said our straight from the heart, cough syrup vows before each other and God and tears were definitely shed.

Then it was time for the best moment, he pronounced us man and wife and Chason and i shared our first kiss as husband and wife…that was a special kiss…my gosh, my heart soared at that moment! The ceremony was so intimate and sweet with just us and the pastor. We were so happy that we both couldn’t stop giggling after!

The pastor was kind enough to take our wedding photo outside of the church before we left…i love this photo so much! It shows how happy we were 🙂

(this is one we took ourselves lol)

After we tied the knot we had a lovely wedding dinner at Outback and then went to Starbucks to enjoy our wedding cake…cake pops!

(yummy wedding blooming onion)

(Rock Road and Peppermint wedding cake 🙂

It was the happiest and best day…we were on cloud nine! Now one year later i can still say that every time Chason looks at me my heart does cartwheels and my tummy gets butterflies! I’m such a blessed woman to have such a special sweet soul to spend my life with! From the moment we started writing letters to each other states away i knew he was going to change my life. Last month when we had our “official” family wedding we danced to “I knew i loved you” by Savage Garden because it is so fitting for us…we really did know we loved each other before we met face to face…and what a feeling that is! No matter how crazy it feels you know you can’t deny it. I truly believe that Chason was meant for me and i for him and i am so happy that God brought him into my life in the time and way He did! God truly does make things beautiful, and i could’t be more excited to see what this future holds for us!

Happy 1st anniversary my love! Here’s to many many more! ❤

~Cecily