I think a lot in Airports and planes. And I think a lot in hair salons,
Maybe it’s because you have to wait. In a salon you have to wait for your hair to dye and dry. And in Continue reading
I think a lot in Airports and planes. And I think a lot in hair salons,
Maybe it’s because you have to wait. In a salon you have to wait for your hair to dye and dry. And in Continue reading
We are all stories. And we all have a part to play. A message to tell. And every story is different. Every story has it’s own pace and setting. It’s own purpose. And it’s own beauty.
Trying to remember this morning that God is telling His story through my life and i must submit to Him and the process to bring Him glory and see what wonders He has in store.
What story is He trying to tell through your life?
“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11-13
There are some things on my mind these days that i can’t let go. Things i think we should remember and always know. So here they are, raw and unrefined a list to keep for this heart of mine.
1. Speak your heart. Unwavering and true. Speak what you feel and let others hear you.
2. Listen oh heart, listen fully to those around. Hear their words, the words they speak without sound.
3.Don’t be afraid. Don’t be alarmed when the walls come shattering down. Let them fall gentle and true. Let them crash down so love and truth can shine through.
3. Let go my heart, learn to let go. Let life’s sand fall through your hands. Give it up. Give it to Him. Accept that you can’t always understand.
4. Laugh. Laugh at what you can’t understand and cannot see. Trust your God has it all working for your good and laugh as he tells you that you should.
5. Lastly dear heart and do not forget, have peace with God’s plan and cherish and be thankful for whatever you get. For it is the journey and not always the “now” that makes this life worth living and these growing moments worth remembering ❤
“She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks,her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.” – Proverbs 31:25-26
I’ve been married for 2 1/2 years now. When i first got hitched i was 22 and had never been on my own before…i was timid and very unsure. The smallest tasks like cooking for my husband or cleaning were hard for me because i felt so new to it all and nervous. Now 2 1/2 years in i feel like i have finally come into my identity as a wife and a woman.
I feel like now i have a handle on most things. Cooking is fun and so easy for me now and i feel like i really own my kitchen. I’ve always loved to be in the kitchen and feeling in charge and free to create is so awesome. I love how things just come so naturally to me now…cleaning and taking care of my husband and family and friends. My full self as a woman has really come to the surface in the last year and i don’t feel nervous or unsure anymore. I feel like marriage fits me well and that i was created to serve in this way.
So many things have had to be dealt with though to get to this point. Lots of insecurities had to be laid down and gotten over. I had to learn not to be afraid to fail and to be vulnerable. Insecurities will take you over if you let them i can tell you that for sure. If i’ve learned anything in these almost 3 years it’s that you have to own your life. You have the power to either curl up and hide or to stand up and take charge and know you are capable.
It was hard being on my own for the first time, being in my first year of marriage and being so far away from family all at the same time. But it really stretched and grew me and now i feel like i’m seeing the benefits.
I’m so happy with the person i am now and who i am growing into. God has been so good with me. He’s always teaching me and correcting me with so much grace and love and i am so thankful. ❤
This week has me thinking about pain. Pain and love and healing.
1 Peter 4:8 says “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
I love that scripture because there is great hope in it. But i always thought of it between two individuals. Like the one who hurts and the one who did the hurting.
But then i started thinking, if love can cover sins, could my love cover the sins of others? The sins inflicted upon loved ones by third parties?
Can i love so strong and true that through my love God can heal the scars of my dear ones? I think so. In fact, i think that is what we are called to do. We are called to be like Jesus, and Jesus loves our pain away and leads us into healing. That is what i believe we should emmulate.
I know so many who have been deeply hurt. Hurt by people they were supposed to be able to trust. And pain, pain takes it’s time to heal…wounds take time to recover and mend. Hearts need safety. They need to know that it is okay to just heal in the time that they need to. I need those things. I need healing as well. I think we all do. Hurt is something no one is exempt from in this world.
But if we could love, truly love. And listen. And hug. And hold a hand. Maybe these things can cover the sins. Maybe they can help mend the wounds and bring healing.
Maybe all we need is to love in the darkness. In the weakness. In the healing. Until we, through the power of our Lord, love it all away.
Because He will most assuredly love it all away.
“But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.” – Isaiah 53:5
So, as i sit here trying to catch my blog up on all my thoughts my husband is on a business call teaching a friend and i’m trying to decide if i should blog, finish up work or workout…blogging won.
Lately i feel like I’ve been on a life lesson journey (then again, when are we not?) . Some haven’t been easy but they all have proven to me how much i don’t know and how much i want to learn.
Lesson 1. Open your heart. Be honest.
This one has always been hard for me. Being vulnerable with people is not easy in any respect let alone for a person as awkward as i am. But I’ve realized how are people supposed to know me and how i feel if i never tell them? I think sometimes we expect that others should just “know” for one reason or another. But alas, people cannot read minds (unless you can. And in that case we should be friends). I’ve gone around for so long expecting others to do what i felt i couldn’t/shouldn’t/didn’t want to. It didn’t work. I had built up feelings (and reoccurring dreams).
So, one night i just bit the bullet and said what was on my heart. And you know, i got mixed responses but that’s okay. I prayed for God’s favor in the situation. I did what was on my spirit. And i say “spirit” because i believe you should do everything with the help of the Holy Spirit and His guidance as opposed to the popular belief of “going with your heart”, which according to Jeremiah 17:9 “is deceitful above all things”. I’m liking the new honest, open hearted me, no matter the response because i know i am being true.
Lesson 2 – Life is about progression,seasons and movement. And it can be beautiful.
I think this had been the hardest for me. Since moving from my home state of Texas to my new home in GA i’ve really had to accept that a lot of life is about change. But as of late i’m starting to learn not just “acceptance” but beauty in the progression of my ever changing life seasons.
Call me a hippie but i firmly believe that we move with the seasons…Summer is playful, Fall is introspective, Winter is mournful and full of letting go. And Spring, Spring is for new, beautiful birth.
Maybe it’s just me, but my life tends to follow the seasons.
The difference is, we may not always get the same season back. And that is okay. I’m learning to be thankful for the seasons i had. And learning that maybe that was all they were supposed to be, just seasons. And that’s not to be little them, because seasons are part of us, but some we just have to let go and say “blessed was this, oh Lord! Thank you.” and burn it down and walk away. Walk away thankful with a full, learning heart into the new chapter.
Lesson 3 – Marriage is the hardest, most Christ-like thing you will do. But it is all beautiful worth it.
I’ve been married a little over 2 years (2 years and 4 months to be exact lol) and i have to say i never thought i could grow so much in so short of time! Marriage stretches you. It pulls you away from the selfish. It sharpens you.
My husband is an incredible man and on a daily basis i can’t believe that i get the blessing of being his wife! But no marriage is perfect. And i don’t think it was ever meant to be. I think marriage is meant to grow us into the loving and graceful people God created us to be. And that isn’t going to be a smooth ride (at least for me…i’m a stubborn one!).
I guess i’ve been learning that no matter the hardship of putting yourself last you will find more beauty in it than any selfish action could ever provide. I look at my role as a wife as my calling. And i take my calling very seriously. My duty to my God is to first honor Him and second to honor my husband. I’ve realized more and more how hard this is when your wants sometimes differ with your husbands. But i am called to submit to him…not controlling “do what i say” submit. It’s a holy and beautiful submission to my husband knowing that God put him as the head of our home.
I think submission in the biblical sense is a way of teaching us to lay down our lives for others. My marriage encourages me everyday to become more and more the woman that God created me to be. It’s grown my heart and soul in more ways than i can say and i can’t wait to see how much more i learn in the future.
This is just some of what has been on my heart as of late. I feel God wanting to grow me in this season and i hope i can lay down my will enough to keep finding out what all the seasons and the lessons they bring mean for my future.
To my husband Chason, everyday i grow more and more in love with you and thankful for the man you are. Here is just a small list of why.
Thank you for being my smile and laughter when i want to cry
Thank you for being my hug when i need to feel safe
Thank you for cooking yummy meals of chili and salmon and mashed potatoes
Thank you for never leaving me when the darkest parts of me out shine the good
Thank you for being my secret keeper and confidant
Thank you for tickles even when i say i don’t want it
Thank you for long walks
Thank you for cleaning the house when i was gone
Thank you for calling me sweet names…it makes me feel so loved
Thank you for working so hard to give me my dream Texas wedding
Thank you for trips to restaurants and shops when you would rather stay in
Thank you for telling me i’m beautiful when i have no makeup on
Thank you for working so hard for us like you do
Thank you for being so tender with me
Thank you of making my dream of traveling to Spain a beautiful reality!
Thank you for loving Christ with all your heart, it makes me want to love Him and you more
And last but not least, thank you for choosing me to be your wife and thank you for these sweet, most beautiful 2 years of my life!
I could go on and on for years but it would never be enough to explain my love and thankfulness for you! God blessed me tremendously when He brought you in my life! Happy 2nd anniversary my sweet love, my favorite day was the day i vowed before God to spend my life by your side! Here’s to the many many more years of love and adventure we have together! I love you with all i am!
Some people in their early twenties desire to purse a career,go dancing on the town with their friends etc…i on the other hand just wanted to be married. Married and have my own little baking biz on the side but marriage was the first thing always on my mind.
I can’t really tell you why. From the age of 16 through 19 i wanted nothing to do with marriage. It just seemed like death to put it bluntly. I was very angry back then at a lot of things and kept it all inside. That is until the moment in my life came where i let God take it all away, all the pain anger and fear. I let Him open my heart and i let love in.
Ever since then, He has changed my heart toward love and marriage and it was the thing i wanted most. I used to have the fear that i wouldn’t get married until my forties and i’d have to wear a pant suite like Hilary Clinton’s. Now being that i married at 22 i find that fear funny, but back then…let’s just say it was very real :0
I’ve been thinking about why i want to be a wife and why i want to be a good and virtuous one.
Proverbs 31:10-12 says
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
When i read that my heart just leaps – I want my price to be far above rubies! I want my husband to safely trust me and i want to do him good all his life! I want to a virtuous and Godly wife to my husband, not only because i love him, but because God calls me to as well.
Thankfully, i have many good example of Godly women to look up to, my mom being the first, as well as family and friends,
I guess i have realized that i don’t see marriage being entered into just because you love someone, i see it as a blessing of responsibility, trust, love. I see it as a calling. My calling as a wife is to love and honor my husband and bring him good. My calling, as a Christian wife, is to be an example for God’s love and grace to my husband. I see this as both beautiful and full of weight. I don’t take being a wife lightly. Yes, love is so fun and wonderful and full of happy sweet moments, but the act of entering a marriage union with someone is so much more and far greater than that.
Chason and i have always had a very deep relationship…probably because we connected with each others hurt and pains of life. Because of this i feel very compelled to protect his heart and emotions…not saying i always do a good job (pms makes me a witch), but his heart is very special to me and i tend to feel like a momma bear when someone/something hurts him. And i know he is the same with me (i’ve seen it 🙂 So, yes marriage is fun, but it is also a huge responsibility, And every day i am honored and blessed and in awe that it has been given to me.
(shhhoooot, dat be right!!)
Marriage changes everything…at least it did for me. I used to be a city girl, i wanted to live in the heart of the downtown noise and chaos. Now, i just want a quiet country home in the south where we can raise our kids with lots of land and animals and family. Funny, huh? Also, once we got married i became a lot more jealous of his past ex’s…it really never was an issue to me when we were dating, but i swear the day i said “i do” i became a fierce bear cat. I literally growl when they are mentioned lol…i’m a bit of batty case i admit (but so is he and that’s why we love each other). Oh, i tell you, you will hate and want every person your spouse had ever even made eyes with to be eaten by a pack of zombie wolves.
(Rawwwwwrrrrr, i eat trollops for dinner!!! Nomm nom nommm)
Marriage changes you!
Marriage has brought out the very good and the very ugly in me. And i am better for it. This new gal has a more tender and soft heart…one that aches to just give others as much love and grace as i have received from my Lord and my love. This heart wants a huge house of kids and pets and big family holidays. I could care less about city life and nights on the town. That’s all good and fine and i like it as long as i am with my hubby, but my priorities have shifted. These days i want to focus on learning how to be the wife and mother God wants me to be for my husband and our future little ones. I want to grow and become a more God centered women, I know i have a long way to go and some days a fail so horribly that i feel like i may never be there, but that is what is so awesome about the love of God and your husband…there is forgiveness and grace, sweet grace and love to fall back on.
So, i guess this is all to say i love being a married women, and not only that, but a woman married to my husband 🙂 It is a huge change and adjustment, and i’m not saying that i have given up things i want…i still want to bake and have some city night life times. I am still me with all my crazy, batty oddness but now i just have someone to love me at the most batty of times and live our oddness out side by side serving our Lord as we grow old. Amazing isn’t? Yes, it totally awesomely is 🙂
We’ve lived in our little house for about 9 months now. Before that we spent the first year together living with Chason’s sweet parents. Why? Well, because Chason and i decided that we couldn’t stand one more day living states away from each other so we eloped and decided to figure out the living situation later. We looked at homes and land and decided to choose the land and build there. However, we sorta rushed that decision and it turned that it would cost a lot to really get it livable (had to put a driveway and other pricey stuff), so we moved in with the parents for a while. Honestly, i know living with your in-laws sounds not very fun, but i really enjoyed our time there. It gave me the chance to really get to know and get comfortable fast with Chason’s parents, a thing that would have taken longer if we lived somewhere else. It was a blessing and i am so grateful to my in-laws for letting us stay!
So, a little back story. Chason has a home he built when he was 18 on land his parents gave him. However, because he was divorced before we married he moved out and rented it to a couple. Fast forward to December of last year, the renters lease was up. So, with lots of thought, prayer and talking we decided to move into his old house and make it our home.
This was no easy decision for either of us, Chason had to deal with hurt that happened there, and i had to deal with, well, the past that happened there. Honestly, the first time he took me to see the house i wanted to run out crying. Not because i didn’t like it, it was great and the kitchen is just what i always wanted, but because in every room i walked through i saw him with another. And that my friends, hurts like hell! I was terrified of living in shadows of his past marriage and i was worried it would bring back old memories and hurts for him. It was scary.
That day we went out to dinner. Both of us felt down and scared and needed to get out. Over dinner we talked about our fears of moving in the house. The walk through had depressed us both and we didn’t know if we should move in. I was then reminded of God’s grace, and how my life as well as Chason’s is a testament to it, and because of that i am always talking about how amazing the grace of God is. I will tell anyone that i believe that God makes all things new. But, if i truly believed that, i mean truly, then why was i scared to move in the house? I can’t say i believe something and then when the time comes for me to put my money where my mouth is back out out because of fear.
So, we talked. And talked. And debated and weighed our options and in the end decided to trust God and make this house our home.
After a little remodeling Chason and i moved in a few days after Christmas…and you know what?
God made it new.
Once we moved in there was no weirdness, no thoughts of the past. I didn’t see him with anyone else when i walked in the rooms. I just saw how blessed we were to have a home. A home that my husband before we met and when he was 18 and i was 13, built and his grandpa helped him install his kitchen cabinets.
Before we moved in i would talk walks around the house and pray over it. Pray that God would bless this decision and that He would take away the past and make all things new for us in this house. And He did.
(Before our new floors were put in Chason and i wrote scriptures on our floors boards. These are just two of the ones we wrote)
I’m not saying that there haven’t been hard moments, that i sometimes don’t think of this homes past or that when mail comes for an ex i don’t want to punch the post man and rip up the letter into tiny pieces (yes, I’ve done that…not the punching the mail man, just the tearing up in tiny pieces and burying it in the garbage…you know you’d do the same) but there have been so many more good moments than bad. This is were Chason and i cook meals together, laugh, play games, talk….this is where we had our first Christmas tree and will be home to many holiday celebrations. I am so thankful for this home of ours, so blessed to have a home and roof over our heads. I love our yard and the moss and mushrooms that grow there and i love my kitchen where i have so much space to bake my heart out. I always dreamed of being a wife, taking care of my own home…cooking dinner, doing laundry, cleaning and decorating, putting up family photos on the wall. And now i have it. God is so good my friends! He is so generous and kind and full of grace!
This is truly our home. And it is truly a testament to the grace of God and His amazing and beautiful ability to make all things new.
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” – Isaiah 43:19
“And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.” – Revelations 21:5
I’ve been going through the Wife After God devotional as well as reading blogs from other Christian wives for the past week or so. I’m trying to surround my self with good examples and encouragement from women with the same Godly goals for life and marriage.
It has been a blessing to say the least.
I’ve been thinking about Gods divine plan and purpose for life and marriage, as well as the story of Hosea and his wife and how it all relates to my life.
If you have spoken to me in the past 8 months you have probably heard how Chason and I have had a crazy stress filled work year. Our calendar has been full with big projects that demand all our time,energy and sanity. All this to say that our personal lives and marriage have really been out on the back burner. Though not by choice, it has taken a toll on us both.
My husband is the hardest working person I know and I respect him so deeply. He is smart and creative and just the best person you will ever work with. He sacrifices himself everyday for our little budding family. But, the down side is he doesn’t always have the time to spend with me. You know, that deep just you and me indulging in each other time.
I miss that
And I have been feeling pretty down and lonely because if it.
I miss that emotional intimacy we have always had. I miss just spending time talking and sharing thoughts and ideas and stories like we used to. I miss him.
And then I got to thinking about God. And my relationship with Him. The bible says that our God is a jealous God…no, He doesn’t want your iPhone or your “success”. He wants your love and time. Just like you want your spouses.
God designed the marriage relationship to reflect His love for us. So wouldn’t it make sense that when we neglect to spend time growing and nurturing our relationship with Him that He would feel as hurt as we do when our spouse doesn’t?
Wouldn’t it make sense that God misses just talking and spending time with us, that he misses intimacy too?
This hit me today. I have been relying so much in being intimately fulfilled by Chason and not so much by my Creator. Chason is amazing but he is not perfect and will fail sometimes but God will not. I can’t base my security solely on my husband. That us not fair to either of us. There will always be a hole in me only my God can fill.
Maybe God has let this lack of time with my husband happen in order to get my attention and make me see that He misses me and I need Him.
A blog by Mandy at Biblical Homemaking really touched my soul. She was talking about Hosea and how his wife Gomer went back to her old life of, well, Whoredom as the bible calls it, after she had Hosea’s children. I thought of myself then. God gave me this huge blessing of being a wife and i turned around and forgot Him and in the process clung to my old vices when things got hard.
I think this season with all it’s business and stress is here to teach me a lesson if i let it – No one can take the place of your Lord and Savior and love you as perfectly and unconditionally as God does, not even your spouse. As women of God who are now wives we must make the time to be in God’s Word daily and find approval and intimacy in Him, if not we risk putting a burden on our spouse which, even if he wanted to, he cannot fulfill.