I’m sure you’ve seen the shirts with the phrase “God bless this mess” on them all over the net and Pinterest…and of course there’s the Sheryl Crow song (which i hate).
These four words really describe how i feel. These days and always. I have never had it together. Ever. And by 26 i figure it’s just not in the cards so to speak so let’s just go with it. Why not embrace the mess of a gal i am and how much i desperately need the grace and love of God and those close to me.
It’s not easy to embrace. I like perfection. I like being the apple in the eyes of the ones i love. But i fall short, if only according to myself, and that is tough for someone like me.
Slowly i’m growing into the type of person who is happy with her crazy self, slowly. It takes prayer and time and lots and lots of just saying “hell, i’m just flippin’ going to be who i am!” on many, many occasions.
And maybe who i am is not who i always will be or was. And truly i believe that is okay. Because i am just learning and growing in this fast paced world and maybe i don’t always have to be sane or right or even what everybody expects. Maybe i just need to be what i am right now. Right in this moment. A mess. A crazy, loving, weird, scared, excited, messed up, happy, confused, liberated and totally unorganized girl who really deeply loves Jesus and her husband.
And let God take me where he wants.
Because i am tired of trying to be “together” and i feel that if we try and hide the mess we really hide who God created us to be.
My house is usually dusty and i can’t seem to plan meals a head of time to save my life and i forget most things if they aren’t written down. But i love my God. I love my husband. I love my family. And you know what, i even love me.
The me i am right now. In this chaos. The me i grew into. The me that knows and understands so many things that i didn’t before and the me that knows i have no clue about anything at all in life but is sure willing to learn.
So God bless this crazy mess. She’s a handful but she’s pretty cool 😉