We’ve lived in our little house for about 9 months now. Before that we spent the first year together living with Chason’s sweet parents. Why? Well, because Chason and i decided that we couldn’t stand one more day living states away from each other so we eloped and decided to figure out the living situation later. We looked at homes and land and decided to choose the land and build there. However, we sorta rushed that decision and it turned that it would cost a lot to really get it livable (had to put a driveway and other pricey stuff), so we moved in with the parents for a while. Honestly, i know living with your in-laws sounds not very fun, but i really enjoyed our time there. It gave me the chance to really get to know and get comfortable fast with Chason’s parents, a thing that would have taken longer if we lived somewhere else. It was a blessing and i am so grateful to my in-laws for letting us stay!
So, a little back story. Chason has a home he built when he was 18 on land his parents gave him. However, because he was divorced before we married he moved out and rented it to a couple. Fast forward to December of last year, the renters lease was up. So, with lots of thought, prayer and talking we decided to move into his old house and make it our home.
This was no easy decision for either of us, Chason had to deal with hurt that happened there, and i had to deal with, well, the past that happened there. Honestly, the first time he took me to see the house i wanted to run out crying. Not because i didn’t like it, it was great and the kitchen is just what i always wanted, but because in every room i walked through i saw him with another. And that my friends, hurts like hell! I was terrified of living in shadows of his past marriage and i was worried it would bring back old memories and hurts for him. It was scary.
That day we went out to dinner. Both of us felt down and scared and needed to get out. Over dinner we talked about our fears of moving in the house. The walk through had depressed us both and we didn’t know if we should move in. I was then reminded of God’s grace, and how my life as well as Chason’s is a testament to it, and because of that i am always talking about how amazing the grace of God is. I will tell anyone that i believe that God makes all things new. But, if i truly believed that, i mean truly, then why was i scared to move in the house? I can’t say i believe something and then when the time comes for me to put my money where my mouth is back out out because of fear.
So, we talked. And talked. And debated and weighed our options and in the end decided to trust God and make this house our home.
After a little remodeling Chason and i moved in a few days after Christmas…and you know what?
God made it new.
Once we moved in there was no weirdness, no thoughts of the past. I didn’t see him with anyone else when i walked in the rooms. I just saw how blessed we were to have a home. A home that my husband before we met and when he was 18 and i was 13, built and his grandpa helped him install his kitchen cabinets.
Before we moved in i would talk walks around the house and pray over it. Pray that God would bless this decision and that He would take away the past and make all things new for us in this house. And He did.
(Before our new floors were put in Chason and i wrote scriptures on our floors boards. These are just two of the ones we wrote)
I’m not saying that there haven’t been hard moments, that i sometimes don’t think of this homes past or that when mail comes for an ex i don’t want to punch the post man and rip up the letter into tiny pieces (yes, I’ve done that…not the punching the mail man, just the tearing up in tiny pieces and burying it in the garbage…you know you’d do the same) but there have been so many more good moments than bad. This is were Chason and i cook meals together, laugh, play games, talk….this is where we had our first Christmas tree and will be home to many holiday celebrations. I am so thankful for this home of ours, so blessed to have a home and roof over our heads. I love our yard and the moss and mushrooms that grow there and i love my kitchen where i have so much space to bake my heart out. I always dreamed of being a wife, taking care of my own home…cooking dinner, doing laundry, cleaning and decorating, putting up family photos on the wall. And now i have it. God is so good my friends! He is so generous and kind and full of grace!
This is truly our home. And it is truly a testament to the grace of God and His amazing and beautiful ability to make all things new.
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” – Isaiah 43:19
“And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.” – Revelations 21:5